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MSAD #6 School Board decides upon new dress code for BEHS

BY RONAHN CLARKE
     MSAD #6 has joined the growing number of school districts that have decided to ensure the respectable and professional presentation of their students by instating a dress code. The new dress code will take effect at Bonny Eagle High School (BEHS) starting with the 2017/2018 school year. The decision to implement the new dress code was made at a school board meeting which took place last January. The members of the school board unanimously decided to require students and staff to wear yoga pants one size too small.
     Yoga pants were already a popular choice amongst the female students at BEHS, but the new dress code will also mandate them amongst male students and faculty. The High School’s administrative team has been asked to facilitate the school’s transition toward the new dress code early by requiring staff to wear yoga pants every Tuesday. Because jeans are antithetical to the school board’s vision, teachers can no-longer wear them on “casual Fridays.” Instead, they are now allowed to pay three dollars for the privilege of wearing crop-tops.
     “Requiring students to wear yoga pants will help us meet one of the district’s biggest goals,” said Interim Superintendent Paul Penna at a board meeting, “which is to prepare BEHS graduates to work behind the counter at Dairy Queen, where yoga pants are part of the uniform.” An angry parent reminded Mr. Penna that one needs a college degree to work at Dairy Queen. Another career path the district’s dress code will prepare students for is yoga instructor. Shortages of yoga pants at local clothing stores have been widely reported, and Lo’s has begun retailing them to take advantage of the growing demand.
     The stretchy synthetic materials yoga pants are made out of happen to be highly flammable, which has already led to some issues in the shop. A male senior student, who happened to be abiding by the dress code early, received third degree burns from his ankles to his pelvis after his yoga pants caught fire while he was welding.
     “At least I was dressed appropriately for the occasion,” the student said from his gourney as he was wheeled out of the school.
     While the community has already expressed some concern about the new dress code, the school board’s decision was celebrated by the Josten’s representative. The school board expanded the original proposal of a dress code (which included only the High School) to include all schools in the district. The Josten’s representative made scheduled visits on March 17th and 18th to visit Edna Libby and Buxton center (respectively) to conduct fittings for the elementary school students. Josten’s is working to design and manufacture school-spirit themed yoga pants, and yoga pants for young children, before the outset of the 2017/2018 school year.
    “We already sell class rings,” said the Josten’s representative, “but it occurred to me that a pair of thirty year old yoga pants could be just as capable of evoking positive high-school memories."

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